Anger Techniques: Discussing it with a friend

DISCUSS ANGER WITH A PARTNER OR CLOSE FRIEND
Keeping anything secret places a small amount of pressure upon us as individuals and keeping the secret of anger is no exception. Anger and ‘anger management’ is not something to be ashamed of. However, allowing the stresses from our anger to build can be extremely damaging to acquaintances, colleagues and most importantly, friends and family. Also like many aspects of life, self denial is not helpful here. The best advice for preventing anger before it begins, and preventing it in the long term, is to discuss the matter with a partner or trusted friend.

This can do two very important things. Firstly, it can reduce the personal burden from the person suffering from the anger. This is a first step to addressing this challenge. Secondly, this is also invaluable as it can alert our partner or people around (family and friends) that we are suffering from an anger related issue. This allows other people in close proximity to maybe alter their behaviour. Over the years, experience has shown that often anger is the result of other people, especially those that we live and/or work with. When thinking about it, a person who works 9 till 5 spends 8 hours of their day with work colleagues, morning and evenings with their partner/family and the rest of the time travelling – often a stressful activity in-itself. Needless to say that it can sometimes be the result of other people’s behaviour that has caused, or at least, helped trigger our personal anger.

Sometimes it is easier to talk to an anger management professional. Friends and family can be a great source of advice and support but sometimes it is difficult to discuss personal information. This is often partly a reason of personal pride and a desire to shield family and close friends from our worries. Moreover, family and close friends –either intentionally or unintentionally- have a biased opinion. They may overreact to our anger issues or conversely may under-react, telling us that for instance ‘there is no need to worry’ or ‘things will sort themselves out – a sort of self denial on their part as they often wish to see the best in us. While this is human nature, it is not very helpful when clear advice is needed.

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