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You probably wouldn’t expect to see these economic recommendation in an ‘anger management’ techniques article as they are often overlooked. Money and economic factors can be vitally important in managing anger – not really of great use when anger strikes but definitely of great benefit for long-term prevention.

Economic stresses can be some of the longest-running and most severe of all stresses leading to anger. This has been especially the case within the past two years –since the 2008 financial crisis- and has been publicised widely in the media within recent months. The fact that the years we are living in –regardless of our personal opinions- are classified as the ‘austerity years’ suggests that personal finance and the management of personal finance, is an increasingly important consideration.

Whether we believe that are personal and/or family finances are in order or not, occasionally for all of us there will be financial stresses. Many of these, such as dealing with the local bank over the phone or in-branch, can be extremely stressful and angering for us. Therefore, these economic techniques –while sounding quite irrelevant at first- can have a dramatic impact over our long-term anger levels.

Watch out for a couple of great economic anger articles in the coming days

This therefore can be a challenging and sometimes stressful activity for our bodies –especially our brain- in non-stressful situations. Think then of the stresses for carrying-out this activity during a stressful situation! I’m sure we can all think of times when socialising was extremely stressful and taxing – those times when we finish the conversation and leave the room our head hurts and we are left feeling tired and sometimes nauseous.

Examples that come to mind off the top of my head are the first day of secondary school, job interviews, or simply walking into a room where we do not know anybody and are therefore forced to make conversation.

There are times in life when these types of social situation are unavoidable and I would suggest that if possible, do not avoid such situations is they are important. For instance, going to a social event at work, even though there is a colleague there that really annoys us, may actually allow us to become more familiar with other colleagues or even that annoying colleague may not be the same person away from their desk, allowing us to begin building bridges to deal with anger.

The social situations to be avoided –if at all possible- are those situations that we can avoid and that we know for a fact will make us incredibly angry. In these circumstances, for the time being anyway, the best thing to do is to avoid. It may become possible –after speaking to an anger management professional- to gradually immerse ourselves into these type of situations over a period of time. However, at the outset, simply avoiding very stressful social situations will cause less anger to build-up over a period of time and can cause a gradual calming – causing less anger in other similar situations and less anger in the long-term.

This can do two very important things. Firstly, it can reduce the personal burden from the person suffering from the anger. This is a first step to addressing this challenge. Secondly, this is also invaluable as it can alert our partner or people around (family and friends) that we are suffering from an anger related issue. This allows other people in close proximity to maybe alter their behaviour. Over the years, experience has shown that often anger is the result of other people, especially those that we live and/or work with. When thinking about it, a person who works 9 till 5 spends 8 hours of their day with work colleagues, morning and evenings with their partner/family and the rest of the time travelling – often a stressful activity in-itself. Needless to say that it can sometimes be the result of other people’s behaviour that has caused, or at least, helped trigger our personal anger.

Sometimes it is easier to talk to an anger management professional. Friends and family can be a great source of advice and support but sometimes it is difficult to discuss personal information. This is often partly a reason of personal pride and a desire to shield family and close friends from our worries. Moreover, family and close friends –either intentionally or unintentionally- have a biased opinion. They may overreact to our anger issues or conversely may under-react, telling us that for instance ‘there is no need to worry’ or ‘things will sort themselves out – a sort of self denial on their part as they often wish to see the best in us. While this is human nature, it is not very helpful when clear advice is needed.

It’s not too late to put it right

Okay, so you decided that this year it would be different but all you got was the same mess. What started off as a romantic day ended up as an angry mess!

I get quite a surge of calls following Valentines day- it’s why I always run an Anger Management Courses in the weeks that  follow.

(Editor -there’s still a couple of places left on Saturday March 19th 9-4pm £97 call us on 0800 021 7613)

I think the reason it gets a bit screwed up is because we often have the notion of the perfect day, we set ourselves up for disappointment ns believe everything will be different on this one special day.

Who wants to be the boyfriend or girlfirend, husband, wife or partner that screws up the supposedly most romantic day of the year?

Call me cynical if you like but the truth is that why should anything change just because the cards are in the shops and the roses are three times the price. Just like New Year’s resolutions we put ourselves under this perfectionist pressure.

So what to do? Well I think the best bet is to use Valentines as a reminder to one, listen to each other and two, remind yourself of why you got together in the first place.

Ask yourselves these two questions and listen to each others answer. Don’t wait until next Feb 14th to be romantic- discuss what you both think would make life together better and then work on that…3-Quick Tips for Saving your Relationship

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